EXPOSED: Is Captain America a Norwalk Student?

There have been many topics debated over the years. Some of the fiercest ones are whether the Kardashians have talent, the dress, and if mayonnaise is an instrument. But we are not here to talk about any of those today. Move over Yanny or Laurel, because there’s a new debate in this town. One that may shock you. One that may frighten you. One that will expose a small 8th-grade bean for the super hero he is: Is Trent Frederick Captain America?

You may ask yourself, “Where the great googly-moogly whack-pack did she come up with this idea?” Well, dear reader, I was getting to that, but first I must tell you that you’ve clearly spent too much time looking at memes if you’re speaking in those foreign tongues.

Anyway, this theory was first suggested to me one day in Geometry. An anonymous 8th grader said that she recalls Trent saying “language” after a fellow classmate used a word that was not appropriate for good Christian Minecraft servers. If you are a Marvel fan you will know that probably one of the most iconic Captain America moments is when he exclaims “Language!” in Avengers: Age of Ultron. After hearing this, the 8th grader had a revelation; “Trent is Captain America” they said. The student explained that because Trent said language, has good morals, and in their opinion kind of looks like Captain America, we have reasonable evidence to believe he is indeed Captain America.

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You may ask yourself, Could this theory actually be true? Could Captain America actually be a Norwalk student? Could the youngest Frederick brother be EXPOSED??!! Do you always ask yourself THIS MANY QUESTIONS?? Anyway, In order to answer these questions, we first we need to interview some of the people who know Trent best.

Let’s start with sophomore Colin Frederick, Trent’s older brother. “I definitely agree” he says “—he’s not quite Chris Evans but he’s pretty close.”

Next let’s go to freshman Brynn Davis, Trent’s girlfriend. When asking Brynn about this theory, she replied with “He is a great person. I could kind of see the resemblance.”

One day I mentioned this theory in my computer science class. Freshman Grant Kimball said he believes that Trent is not like Captain America, but like Ebony Maw (who Grant says is still pretty cool), better known as “Squidward” in Avengers: Infinity War. He believes that it’s more likely that 8th grader Will Chase would be Captain America.

Freshman Jessica Erickson has said that Trent looks a lot like rapper Eminem. “Like when he has his short hair.” she says. Brynn says that Trent has said that before as well and that she doesn’t really agree.

So is Trent Captain America? We need to ask one last person; Trent himself

Hannah: “So as you may or may not know, and 8th grader who wishes to remain anonymous has come up with the theory that you may be Captain America based on the fact that you have said language, have good morals, and in their opinion kinda look like Captain America. What do you think of this theory?”

Trent: “Although those things seem to be true, the claim that I am Captain America is a claim I do not agree with. I will remain by this statement. The evidence appears convincing, but calling me, Trent Frederick, Captain America is an outlandish thing to say.”

Clearly Trent is not quite ready to give up his secret double life. We may never know if Trent Frederick is indeed Captain America. But whether he’s more like Cap, Eminem, or even Ebony Maw, he is still a pretty rad dude.

*Image Courtesy of Trent Frederick

*The interviews in this article are real but this article is purely a joke (it is under the comedy tab not necessarily because it was meant to be overly funny, but because it is purely for fun and a joke) and was written with Trent’s permission*